Gawd there is no better word for right now. And I don't even know why - just emo i guess. I do think, however, that my attempts to remedy it only make it worse. To the guys: Even though im not always in the best of spirits, and even though i do often decline offers to go out or get food or whatever, i very much appreciate them all. They're a fish line back to reality for me, and i wanted to say thanks, thanks for not giving up.

In other news, I just got a slap in the face by my bank statements as to how badly my spending has spiraled out of control lately. I must now suck it the fuck up, work more (and harder), and tighten the belt a bit. I also fear that with summer on the horizon, another job is inevitable. *Sigh*. But all things considered: First year of college has been good, a success of sorts. I learned, learned how to learn, found friendship and company, and found out a bit about myself. Not a bad deal. And it only cost me my mental health. What a deal!



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